To be honest life has been full of challenges lately and finding the time to sit and reflect on them hasn't really happened. Lucky for everyone of you reading this...I currently think I'm dying (not really...just a horrible cold) and don't feel like doing anything real so the time is now!
Recently I have had some struggles with a particular friendship of mine...for this person's sake the name will not be mentioned...most recently in the sage that seems to be our friendship or what has become of it I was trying to do what I thought was right by helping that friend out regardless of the fact that we haven't been very close in a while. It's funny because I think it speaks a lot to a friendship when you can have struggles with the strength of a relationship but still feel like you HAVE to stick your neck out for them and help them out. See the problem in my line of work is that people come to me sometimes and tell me things when they are frustrated and it sometimes concerns the people I care about and sometimes its from the people I care about...its a super hard place to be put in. I felt torn I needed to say something to my friend but also protect my other friends. It's hard to feel like you don't know what to say and how to say it...but I have always believed that faith will guide me so as usual I just kind of started talking.
Unfortunately, I took the hit a little better than my friend did. Instead of seeing my information as helpful and coming from a good place my friend saw it as the opposite. It sort of blew up...horribly...sort of got cornered for more info later that day.
So I figured that was the end of what was a good friendship. I mean after all friendships do come and go and as much as it kills us sometimes we have to understand that and let it happen.
Well after being blindsided yet again by some other news a week or so later lets just say my confidence was shaken to the very core. When you take a blow like that it is really hard to know who to trust...and you sure can't trust yourself after something like that. I'm about to start a really crazy time of year for me and quite honestly when you are in that kind of situation you go back to the things you know work, you know you can trust and you know you could depend on. Even if it means ignoring how hurt you felt, ignoring that things will never be the same.
I guess that is the great thing about friendships...even when you think things are over for good...you can take some mail up and just start back where you left off. And bring up the things that really matter...like how you are supposed to go on after being so blindsided that you're still not sure where all the pieces are or how you are supposed to go into this new adventure with confidence when you don't think you have any left.
And I'm not entirely sure this person knows any of this but that little chat help to slowly pick up the pieces. Sometimes you need to hear things from certain people...its not what they say...its who says them because you know that that particular person knows who you are and isn't trying to feed you fluff just to make you feel better. They are telling you because they believe it, they see it and they know it is there.
God puts those people in our lives for a reason, even if 50% of the time we are complaining about their lately shenanigans. He knows that we need those people in our lives and that even when we think they are going to leave forever...they will circle back as if someone hit the reroute button on the GPS. It is all very cool when you think about it!
With Love Always,
Alex
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