Love Yourself First

I'm not going to lie the last few weeks have sucked.  I believe the comment was made that my life seemed to be a wreck.  Honestly maybe it is...I don't even know anymore...but I'm learning a lot about myself lately so regardless of what has happened I know I will walk away stronger.

Over the summer I was blessed with this amazing opportunity to use my talents for good (rather than evil) and take on promotional work.  This is honestly something that I have always loved and been interested in but never had the opportunity to seriously do long term.  

Now in my life I have never been a person that needed people to pat me on the back or give me public praise and honestly if you know me you know that makes me feel very uncomfortable, but as this new adventure continued I started to notice that I wasn't necessarily being supported either.  Asking for help...input...things that were necessary to make this project successful...very little of that was happening especially from people who were supposed to be my "friends".  Now normally I can just do things myself but unfortunately I'm not super woman...though I really wish I could be.  

I started to suspect that this lack of support was intentional but thought that saying it out loud well, it sounded absolutely crazy.  But then I remembered...that the genius thing about it was that it did sound crazy.  No one would believe me...that's what makes it brilliant.  

After months of being worn down, not supported...being systematically set up to fail...being yelled at during work by someone who was supposed to protect me and help me...I walked away.

Sometimes you have to know when the bridge isn't worth being saved...so I found the matches.  

It's funny only one person even remotely believed me but I will tell you this...now that I am gone the pictures I have been asking for are magically there...the information I needed is free flowing...seems like I was right.

At the end of the day what matters most isn't that I was right in thinking that two of the most beloved people were unsupportive, that people who should helped me wouldn't...it's that I loved myself enough to walk away.  To lay all my cards on the table and tell everyone that I am more important than these mind games, that I will not be subjected to this crap any longer and most importantly you can not control me, tell me what to do or intimidate me.

I told you 2015 was going to be my year...you can't stop me and I don't need you to get in the way of my happiness any longer.

Everyday I realize that some of my "friends" aren't actually my friends but the few I escaped with...well they are clearly fireproof.

With Love Always,

Alex