Never underestimate the power a new notebook can have on someone who is creative...its like telling someone with a shopping problem they can have new shoes...the possibilities to them are endless. The possibilites and the things they can do can be just what they needed after a long day or what they needed to pull them out of a rut they were in.
Well as much as I wish I were a shopaholic (only because I wear the same clothes all the time) I am the creative side to this scenerio. So how did I get to a place that I needed to be reinspired you ask....well allow me to tell you.
I've spent the last few years working with people who I thought supported me and who were my friends and as time goes on and as I grow wiser I am starting to realize that these people that I thought were so amazing are actually at the heart of it all...mean girls. Now what is a mean girl you ask...well they are the girls who do things to systematically tear you down, to drive you crazy, to wear on you...but they do it so that people don't catch on....so that when you inform people of this you can't always explain it...or that maybe you don't have hard proof...or they just jab at you little by little so that when you explode you look like the bad guy instead of them...which is exactly what they want.
These types of girls (and they can be guys as well) are typically people who are favored and well liked by a lot of people so it's hard for others to see what you are going through. Most often times this behavior is triggered by them not getting their way in one or two instances and they just want to be right or they want "their order" restored.
Well this is really starting to wear on me. I have tried to tell people...I have tried to point it out....all that has happened is that I get more hoops to jump through and they get less. It's not a situation I want to keep putting myself in.
Just when I want to walk away from it all I remember that I am actually good at what I do...there are people who actually believe in me and it has never been in my nature to give up becuase of the actions of two.
Which brings me to the notebooks...
I was feeling discouraged yesterday and thought that after everything I could use a small pick me up something to help get all the progress I had made over the last 21 days of prayer (something we did at church) going...I found my creative juices again while I was in those 21 days. So I went to TJ Maxx and found one notebook for my crazy ideas and one for things that inspire me/things I want to write about. Almost instantly I came up with what I thought was an amazing idea and it came to me so clearly so vivid that I couldn't help but stop and write down every detail in my head.
It is funny...I'm still upset...I'm still hurt...but I have 200 blank pages so the possiblilties seem endless.
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