Shocked back to life

I don't know about you but I think sometimes that we get ourselves in a rut and we don't know how we got in it or how to get out of it.  We are just there and it is not like anyone can talk us out of it or help us out of it because it is not obvious that we are in it.  It's like a routine we get in, get up, go to work, go home, sleep and the feelings that are associated with that routine also become routine.  

I feel like that's been me for the past few months.  I have done the same thing day in and day out expecting a different result...a different emotion or reaction to life and it just wasn't happening.  And it's not like I knew that I was in a rut or anything and I wasn't going around saying that I was either.  I just went about my business...slowly trying new things...first it was the dog, Maverick, then the hair...it's sort of red and awesome if you haven't seen it, and while those things make me happy and I love them, they still became part of my routine.  

Yesterday something happened...and I am still trying to figure out what that something is exactly so this may not make sense at all...but like a volt of electricity being passed through me I just feel alive, awake and excited about everything again.  I didn't know I was in a rut before yesterday but now that I feel like me again I know I was.  All I did was let loose and take a chance and see what could happen if I did...its funny how life works sometimes.

For the first time in a long time I felt okay with something failing miserably and exciting with the possibility of what could happen.  It's nice to have that feeling running through your veins making you feel so alive.

I think that is the problem with routine and being safe sometimes, it's just that...safe.  It is predictable and you know what will happen and you become content with what happens in the day to day even if you are not okay with it.  Taking risks is risky but taking risks is what makes you feel alive.  Now lets go ahead and clarify that I'm not telling you to go jump off a cliff or do something reckless...I'm talking about getting up in front of your friends and lip syncing to Lady Gaga and dancing around like a goof or having the courage to be honest with someone after years of holding back.  (Non-life threatening risks people!)

It feels good to feel good again...I'm sitting here in my office with my high heels on and my red lipstick drinking my coffee ready to take on the world...or at least the work I should be doing right now!

With Love Always,

Alex